“Love Acid Daydream
(Escape from Party Island)

I’ve lurked upon an internet conversation recently (because I don’t really contribute, I’m much more of a popcorn-crunching entertainment hog wallowing in the filth of everybody else’s problems) that basically hypothesized that if you have a really, really, terribly, I mean REALLY stupid band name (or artist name), then your music was directly proportional to the shittiness of said name. Let’s test it out with Turkey Salmon, one of the absolute worst names I’ve come across. (I mean really, unless this artist is the son of former California Angels outfielder Tim Salmon, who hated his newborn son so much from the get-go that he named him with a proportional hatred, this Turkey Salmon clown has no real reason to step out into public with a recording moniker so obviously culled from indecision at the grocery store.)

(This catastrophe is on you, Jason Miller.)

OK, synthesizer warble run through a badly tracked VHS player – check. That’s a good start. Let’s see … the rest is sub Flock of Seagulls, who I actually kind of like. You know what? Something called “Turkey Salmon” doesn’t get any more of my time. I won’t go so far as suggesting the music is as bad as the band name, but here’s some advice for you kids: If you want us to take you seriously, don’t name your project “Turkey Salmon.”


--Lettuce Apple