“Teleportation Chronicles" C50

Constellations, amirite? Imagine being the first asshole that insisted a deity-sized handful of flaming gaseous orbs just fucking trillions and trillions of miles apart should be imaginarily tethered in our minds by thick, straight lines: not wavy, not jagged, but boring ass chalk-streak straight. zzZZzzzZZZ. There is but one constellation, my friends, and it is the Sparkly Bees…but I suppose referring to the night sky as “Old Million Eye”, ever blinking lazily down upon us, is pretty great, too.

OME’s “Teleportation Chronicles” does just that; let’s us skip around the cosmos in under an hour, distilling all the percussive excitements of comets whizzing by (tracks 1, 5, &6) and all the empty lag one must feel internally whilst bypassing light-years in travel time (tracks 2 - 4) , just pairs down all the extra baggage and gets us immediately higher-than-high minded about sonic spatial relationships and outer-atmospheric ambiance. And theremins. Lots of rogue theramin going on here. But maybe it’s just radar interference?

Strap on the ol’ headphones and get your space-time travel on!


—Jacob An Kittenplan