I’m not even going to pretend the first thing I thought of this morning
wasn’t “Laser
Cats,” the SNL sketch with the cats that shoot lasers. It’s amazing, and
it’s important, and you should probably watch it if you haven’t. I thought of
“Laser Cats” because this tape is called Laser
Nun, and I can only imagine nuns wandering around and blasting people with
their eye lasers. I chuckled imagining it.
Laser Nun the band is a duo from Copenhagen, and the two improvised
sidelong pieces here may as well be firing lasers into my ear canals, because
this is some violent work. Side A lasts over eighteen minutes, and side B lasts
almost seventeen, so there’s not a moment of breathing room to be found. And
for all you experimentalists out there who only think bending circuits or
frying motherboards or lassoing
static is the way to go, the way to annoy your parents, coworkers,
siblings, friends, or worst enemies, I’ve got some news for you: traditional
rock instruments can be equally useful – and surprisingly tuneful when wrangled
with care. See, Lars Bech Pilgaard and Anders Vestergaard, on guitar and
drums/feedback respectively, shred your head, face, ears, nose, and solar
plexus with tone shards that whip caustically through space-time and obliterate
anything in their path. Bloody remarkable, I say! You still wondering how I
feel about all this? Me likey!
Like Sly and the Family Drone or whatever side projects Kid Millions
involves himself with, Laser Nun wind themselves up into cacophonous frenzies
and do not let up. Lars and Anders are twin afterburners blasting searing heat into
unsuspecting crowds. This is noise rock masquerading as straight noise –
there’s too much groove here to be fully outsider. Well done! … And as an
aside, I can’t seem to get Beck’s “Tasergun” out of my head, but instead of
“tasergun,” I replace the lyrics with, “Watch out son, I got a Laser Nun.”
Seems appropriate today.
--Ryan Masteller
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