Heavy fucking mess indeed. “Blindside is ‘a love song for an absent
lover.’ Blindside is about internalizing new feelings of loss.” I sit here,
staring bleakly straight ahead, listening to this two-track sack of metaphorical
cinderblocks resting on my shoulders, slowly drooping ever closer to my
keyboard. I think my eyes are rimmed red from weeping uncontrollably. Is that
what I’ve been doing for thirty-seven minutes? God, I think I would’ve
remembered that.
Deep breath, then, because this Sister Grotto tape on Braeyden Jae’s
Heavy Mess is an emotional black hole that will not let you escape. You are
powerless against the winsome and melancholy chords, and Madeline Johnston’s
voice coos gently over the whole thing, intoning four vague lines, twelve words
total (nine if you don’t count the repeated line). Yet the understatement acts
to amplify universality of the feelings. Love? Loss? Jesus, we all get that. Why, then, is “Blindside” such an exact representation of these
two sentiments? Who are we loving? Who are we losing? The music makes the
answers “Everyone” and “Everyone,” and if you’re on the other side of it, get
ready, you won’t make it out of this tape unscathed.
Side B features “Blindside (Drone),” a version of side A that cloaks
the piano in hazy effects, softening the blow somewhat with its
shoegazey/ambient wistfulness. Nah, forget it, it’s still choking me up.
Dammit, gotta get a new box of tissues.
--Ryan Masteller
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