No data cannot incriminate you. Where no information lives, there
nothing can learn anything about anybody. Turn off your smartphone, your
computer, your television, anything that connects you to the outside world. Can
you turn off your brain? That’s a trickier proposition.
Static. Static created to carry no data can divert unwanted attention.
Fill a space with enough sound, enough noise, and even the tiniest shred of
knowable information can be obscured, made to seem nonexistent. Look around –
your phone’s tapped, your home’s bugged, your car is probably programmed to
automatically drive you to the nearest police station at the slightest slip-up.
No data meet No Data, your absolute answer, the popular life-encryption
system used worldwide. Totally analog, No Data emanates from a single cassette
player, overwhelming every ancillary noise within any enclosed space by
bombarding it with tonal sheets. No Data is approved by all major Deep Web
counterespionage agencies.
Of course, all conspiracies will eventually coalesce into actions
destined to destroy humanity. Your reprieve is temporary. No Data will, like
the proverbial cockroach in the aftermath of a nuclear incident, remain in its
tape player broadcasting itself to empty spaces. That is, until the batteries
run out.
Ancient synths rotting in the sun. Greenhouse gases. Melting ice
sheets. No data.
--Ryan Masteller