E + RO = 3 “The ILLusionist” C27 (Bonding Tapes)

“A trick is something a whore does for money.” —GOB Bluth

E. Ross III knows a little something about ILLusions, and I’m following the capitalization here because it’s the prompt in the title. The ILLusionist is a beat tape, pure and simple, a jazz-inflected instro-hip hop release that makes so much sense on Bonding Tapes, the experimental/hip hop label known for all kinds of far-out sampledelic and synthetic mayhem. But this conjurer of the dark arts, like, say, Saruman, is able to incant some really great spells and string together a lot of disparate samples for an excellent whole. (He is unlike Saruman, fortunately, in his distinct inability to create an army of orcs.) It reminds me, and this is topical because I just busted out this album last week, of DJ Wally’s spectacular The Stoned Ranger Rides Again, itself a glorified “beat tape” released back before the internet was for anything other than downloading files from Napster and, I guess, combing through catalog records in the college library. The ILLusionist is a total throwback in that regard, dropping brilliant spoken samples, slathered in reverb and delay, such as some amazing Richard Pryor standup work on “What It Is.” It’s perfect for chilling out late at night, a hangout tape smoothly produced seemingly from thin air, like an act of sheer magic. Somebody make a Hogwarts reference here like your life depends on it, because it probably does. Or doesn’t – E + RO = 3’s a benevolent wizard!

“…Or cocaine!” —GOB Bluth

Bonding Tapes

--Ryan Masteller

ZOD1AC “THE ZOD1AC TAPES VOL. 1” C30 (Bonding Tapes)

As chilled out as it gets, ZOD1AC drops a beat tape for the laid-back ages, a drifty mélange of gorgeous synth melody and sparse percussion. THE ZOD1AC TAPES VOL. 1 – all caps because if you don’t market it that way, you’ll probably end up gently pushing product in a weed haze, and you can’t make money from a weed haze – dropped obviously on Bonding Tapes, continues the label’s fascination with hip-hop and outer space synthesizer worship. These sixteen mostly short tracks, over half of which are between forty-one seconds and 1:46, prove ZOD1AC’s restlessness on one hand (lots of transitions!) and his steady navigation on the other (a cohesive whole!). I’m going to be honest about this – I’m not much of a beat tape/mixtape guy, but this is pretty far-out, trancey stuff, which hits the sweet spot for me every time. It’s easily replayable, and although there are a lot of short tracks, the quick movements work remarkably as part of the greater whole. Lots to love about this one – whether you’re under water or gliding over clouds, there’s always something lurking that’s the perfect accompaniment to what you’re doing. So pop open your wallet and buy one already! Isn’t it just puuurdy too? Look at that thing!

Bonding Tapes

--Ryan Masteller

MR. ABSTRACT BUTTA FINGAS “Invictus” C20 (Bonding Tapes)

Throw down your legally obtained firearms! Mr. Abstract Butta Fingas is continuously undefeated, yes, that’s what “invictus” means because I looked it up (do you think I speak Latin or something?), and there is nothing that you can do to upend his meteoric rise to global overlordship. Just listen to that production and tell me his beats aren’t the shit-tastic bombastic three-dimensional club traxxx, the plague that makes your booty move, infectiously thumping intensely sublime grooves. You pop this in your tape player like an aural antibiotic and all the cares of your Zika-infected mosquito blood will dissipate into a mixtape beatscape, acting as your own personal quarantine. Check that, let’s build a Mr. Abstract Butta Fingas wall of subwoofers around any xenophobic flashpoint to isolate only the greatest and best things in our lives. Let’s not share anything with anyone, just narcotize into a subviolent defensive haze. Somebody’s gotta have their finger on the safety trigger. I submit that we just let that “Somebody else” do it.

Throw down your legally obtained firearms! You won’t need them on the streets of San Diego in 2016; that head-nod action is video-game ready for special-move status – there will be no bosses able to contend. Invictus, undefeated, rolling through the city on a confidence high, power spiked to the red, Mr. Abstract Butta Fingas approaches partly in this plane of existence, partly on an unseen one, fully encompassed when seen through eyes that can perceive the totality. You will underestimate him as he approaches, and he will overcome. There is no defense, just pure submission. Invictus, a soundtrack to conquest, our fears soothed by the utter dominance. Let the blood pulse through disarmed veins. Let the groove saturate our dissatisfaction and numb our diseased anger. Music is the answer – music is the weapon. Remember where you were the day Mr. Abstract Butta Fingas rolled into town.

Bonding Tapes

--Ryan Masteller

V N C F "P L E A S U R E D I S T R I C T" (Bonding Tapes)

God, dating is terrifying. I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Thank god V N C F is here to show us the ropes, because the idea of finding that perfect connection online is completely unnatural. Why do dating sites take such an effort to normalize the experience, with language and images and experiences that minimize the tension and soothe the nerves, thereby satisfying users’ initial tentativeness? Because we’re human beings, that’s why, not sets of data pulsing through the internet. Computers can’t predict or mimic happiness.

V N C F wants to discredit most of what I just suggested, since it is an entity that I’m pretty sure exists only online to reflect back perfect teeth-whitened, plastic-surgeried reflections of ourselves. Or it’s a dude in a cabin with some recording software, what do I know. At any rate, P L E A S U R E D I S T R I C T serves to perpetuate the idea of a safe, whitewashed space where we can all find love in our computers. “Love is contagious,” coos “C O N T A G I O U S,” and after listening to this tape, I’m pretty sure the song speaks the truth. I’m under the spell of V N C F, where soft rock, “glamour commercials,” filtered softcore lighting, and desire fill the atmosphere. It’s vaporwave as mood-altering medication, serving to ensure that all is right with the experience.

And who am I to argue? “D A T I N G S E R V I C E” is a great place to begin, although it harkens back to earlier ventures of video-dating services (a sample even advises fast-forwarding the tape at one point), but it still leans heavily on the utter cheese of dudes trying to get a date online. (Judging me yet? I’m a married man, son, I don’t mess with eHarmony.) Other tracks imply a deeply maintained, sterilized environment: “P R O P E R S T A T E O F M I N D,” “T A L K T O S T R A N G E R S,” and “C L U B M E T R O” all nudge you in the correct direction, and somebody’s going to have to forgive me for imagining a singles-party scenario from The Sims or something.

Because isn’t that what dating is in the present? It’s a simulation of real life where one can be whoever they want (I guess within reason on “proper” dating sites), and they can maintain a façade until the actual physical encounter with a prospective mate. Then all bets are off, because I imagine there’s got to be some sort of honesty at play there. Or maybe not – maybe that’s the sheen V N C F is plastering over everything, insinuating that no matter who you are, you can manipulate your identity and history, scrub it, cleanse it, bleach it until it gleams in perfection. Sounds like modern romance to me. It makes me queasy.

Bonding Tapes

--Ryan Masteller

TIM COSNER “Deadtech/Modernhomes” (Bonding Tapes)

Couldn’t listen to the entire thing, too dark and oppressive and technological and pretentious, a peer into the soulless void of our replicant culture. Made my farm commune roommates complain. I think that’s the idea. 

http://bondingtapes.bandcamp.com/album/deadtech-modernhomes

- - Liv Carrow