REPTILIANS FROM ANDROMEDA “Whatever” (Illuminated Paths)

I wish Reptilians from Andromeda had a distinct personality, but as it stands, they embody someone else’s – namely the early 1990s riot grrrl sound boiling from PacNW house shows, except the Reptilians are from Istanbul (not really Andromeda). How bout another blast from the friggin past? Remember that Ugly Kid Joe song, the one that went “I hate everything about you”? It was called “I Hate Everything About You.” [Ed note: Actually it was called “Everything About You”] I wish this review was the opposite of that song – it’s not, but it also doesn’t suggest that Reptilians from Andromeda are at the end of the spectrum where the sentiment of that song is either. It’s maybe 56% or so toward that end, barely enough for me to warrant a shrug. But since I don’t like this tape, it’s at least over the halfway point. Whatever indeed! And on the plus side, I’ve just trolled your entire day by making you remember Ugly Kid Joe, and maybe even getting that song stuck in your head if you’re lucky enough to have caught the video on MTV’s rotation when you were a kid. (*Evil supervillain laugh*) If you want a bright side here instead of a “meh” side, you can hang your hat on the fact that it at least sounds like Reptilians from Andromeda are having fun. Plus, they’re very eager – they have a bunch of releases.

--Whitfield Crane’s insidious long con