V/A “th’Gunk Was Bunk” (dihd)

Y’know they say things come in cycles. This one’s the love child of Ghost Rider and Ed “Big Daddy” Roth. Dihd records, longtime champion of much adored/misunderstood mystery meat of the masses, provides the survival kit for times like these and those. What times are these? The cover illustration by Jaime RVRS MRCY suggests a literal “bunk” in which to tangle with the proverbial “gunk”, an allegorical cot with bedroll for ol’Rip Van Winkle to snooze on. It appears Rip Van is visited in slumber a-la Uncle Ebeneezer Scrooge, by a Dragon Ball-Z coiffed mer-man entwined with a dragonian serpent… do I detect halitosis? He’s/they’re hovering mere inches from RVW’s face. As if that weren’t enuf, looks like th’peasants have risen from their subterranean hell-holes to drag the poor beardo down to the frizzle-fryer.

Yeah…cool, but what’s it sound like?

MOVEMENT A 

Chapter 1: PENGO. A shaking quaking steamer by the name of One Egg Cream for Phossy Jaw. Sometimes I pretend the Black Angel Death Song is a lil more peppy. Pengo knows.

Ch.2: PREENING. WC taking out-jazz to the streets of Cleveland, almost conjuring up the spirit of Mingus’ Haitian Fight Song.

Ch.3: All night, like, put it on repeat ‘til it wears into a fuzzy strip of plastic. BAD EYESIGHT? Alright, just listen to the disintegration.

Ch.4: ASPS (not ASPCA). Take a deep dive into the mind of Klaus Kinski. Recreate a Werner Herzog remake and title it Snakeferatu. This is the opening credits theme. Picture an auditorium of asps.

Ch.5: “HEYST! Who goes there?”

“’Tis I! May I enter the Tide Pool?”

(Instructions Follow)

A guided meditation of a quasi-baptism.

[Water Break] 

PSIDE B 

[Reviewer’s note: cassette side b features another of Jaime’s drawings. This time it’s Rip Van Winkle’s torso, chopped and sandwiched around the letter “b” with the serpent’s tail on the other side. It signifies a turning point in the hero’s journey.]

Ch.1: Return to UNITED WATERS for a spiritual groove. Checkers is more than just red and black. It’s a way to let your mind be free.

Ch.2: HEALERS co arithmetize:

Psyche x Folk 

G-Funk 

Remainder: celestial drone-fest=paradise collage 

Ch.3: More terrifying than expected, DOUBLE WIG hypothesizes. When your mask is not another face, aka if Lemmy were to steal your face right off of your head.

Ch.4: A bit’o’symmetry here, SWEATING PIPE. Pipe Sweating. A tip of the hat to the cymbal mic on this one. MVP.

Ch.5: In closing, fittingly, the one-man HUMAN ADULT BAND is accompanied by an on-air Coast to Coast AM with George Noory phone call from Patty, discussing chemtrails in Seattle. T Penn goes full singer-songwriter with Peace to You, a clarion call to fellow Earthlings. Peeling back the curtain on this one, T Penn sez: “It's me on vox and a borrowed acoustic guitar bc I left mine at a campfire jam, hosted by SHADOW BAND, the night before. One of the cooler activities done as a part of the SHADOW BAND gathering/bonfire was a sauerkraut canning workshop.”

While we have th’Gunkmeister on the horn, what are the curator’s intentions with this collection?

“Speaking of comps and candy hopefully the new Gunk is mostly Reese’s but there might be a Necco wafer in there somewhere. Happy Halloween.”

dei aye ache dio



--Adam Padavano

V/A “Th’ Gunk Stunk” (DiHD)

Side A

1. BONELIST-Bonelist: Seems straightforward, a steady jackhammering of cement chords, threatening a good talking-to. (more like talking through you)

2. MAXIMUM ERNST-Mature Manure: >>>they mean that. They are earnest in their efforts, no complaints, even bordering on joyous. That is of course, if it weren’t for that discolored rash everyone’s got on their arms. That’s where the titular mature manure comes in handy-dandy.

3. WASP-Hymn of the Hymenoptera: I don’t want to get too literal with Wasp. I think they are already more waspy than W.A.S.P. ever pretended to be. None of their moms are named Bunny or Gidget. I mean, one of it’s members is an insect! Caninus(duel pitbull terrier-fronted grindcore band) and Hatebeak(grey parrot-fronted death metal band) have a new theoretical labelmate. Full disclosure: I was stung on the thumb by a wasp yesterday, and you can imagine, I have more than a little respect for this band, and want to get on their good side. Seriously, Wasp, I like this one a lot!

4. FILTH GARDEN-Ain’t Right: HIGH HONORS. This is Rockin’ like Dokken, Baby! Donald Dokken is there in spirit, getting nasal, with a hint of rudeness… He never really seemed that rude, more of a gent. “Ain’t Right” says it all, getting judgy, and shoving people out of the way, starting stuff that otherwise wouldn’t have been started. Take heed, fellow polite persons: it’s gonna get uncomfortable for a while.

5. IVOR BLAHA-Strolling To The New Rhythms Of Dry Cheap Music: IB, on piano, playing us out for a snappy ditty. Scratchy throat surfaces of magnetic tape and/or Edison cylinders grinding, actually, sort of violently, even though Plastikman would’ve sampled that beat back in 1993 and brought the heat to the Detroit dancefloor. Richie Hawtin, lissen up! You have a hit yet to make, in the twilight of your career.


Side B
1. TRIGAL-Frykt: Norwegian multimedia producer, bringeth frykt, a wavy, wayward zone of sci-fi architecture. It moseys via terraformed lagoon into a butterfly’s lair, and high-fives a helicopter.

2. TOADS-Spider: New Brunswick, NJ’s Toads are talking some smack about everyone’s favorite arthropod. If I’ve learnt anything about the creepy crawlies, it’s that we must befriend our fellow terrestrial beings. That said, I suspect I will still break out in hives. “Toads” are amused by all this nature, kind of non-plussed really. I get it, Toads, you’re on a different plane, for real.

3. SPECK-EDD: Microscopic, not seen with the naked eye, however, the Speck has a tremendous rhythm section. It wails large-like. A fine study in the micro-macro. I propose a stretched out expansion of this laffy taffy, perhaps a thirty minute exercise in endurance. Then, for a little symmetry, side b is a real-time rewind at normal speed.

4. THE BROWN CHRISTMAS-Sriracha and Safety Pins: Closing out th’Gunk Stunk, is none other than The Brown Christmas, to heal all yer wounds. These dudes are such great hosts. May I suggest a last dance? Perhaps a pickled bamboo chute? They constructed this number while projecting the closing credits to the film Irreconcilable Differences, starring Drew Barrymore. For those of you who like Boards of Canada, but think they could go easy on all that “We live in a subterranean bunker in the picturesque Scottish hillside”, and not be so afraid of staining their synthesizer with a pint of ale. The BC serve up the flavors of tomorrow with a certain cosmopolitan classiness indeed. I’m afraid th’Gunk Stunk has come to a close. We’ve been to a lot of new places, haven’t we? I think we learned a little more about ourselves.

dihd

stunk


--Adam Padavano

V/A “Flunked Gunk” (DiHD)

Flunked Gunk: An Odyssey

Side A

1. SUICIDE MAGNETS_Shiloh: “You soothsayer! Makin’ me do weird things, like fill toothpaste tubes with caulk, you houndstoothed heartbreaker… do that again please?”

2. ULTRABUNNY_BAG bag/Dark Meets Drumstick: The UB drops a two-fer, some greasy, grizzle-smokey, Kraut-ragna-rokery, bumming out yer neighbors’ ghosts enough to turn on a Three’s Company marathon>>>OR<<<Is it their answer to Scarlet>Fire?

Q: Could it be Drums>Space?
A: Sorry, nerds, too obvious.

Dark meets drumsticks: Probably not poultry, likely a Good Humor ice cream cone melting on your mom’s lipstick.

3. SCMB_Corsa: “How’d they fit Ginger Baker’s butt into that primitive submarine? And when will they remember to unplug appliances before a catastrophic flood?”

No guitars, really, just a harmonica with one working hole, stuck to a beard trimmer, the track is brimming with burped up bubbles

4. LATHER_A Scale Upon Ourobouros: A plaintive, studious, punctual, constitutional, as polite as a reptile gets when it’s been caged up in a Good Housekeeping Magazine-centerfold-faux-Amazon Forest-common room, drinking green tap-water, and chasing re-animated zombie-crickets.


Side B

1. HUMAN ADULT BAND_I Don't Know Why (But I've Been Here for Years): “Okay! Gather ‘round, kids! Liss’n up and liss’n good… It’s yr Third Uncle, and, sweet Lazarus! do I have a tall tale t’ tell. It all starts when Methuselah’s great grand pappy Grejoirius somersaulted over the Great Pebbled Bridge of Bayonne. No small feat for one with a double-case of gaut, and a deep-fried hamstring. That’s what he had for breakfast. Do you follow? Well look closely, cuz I happen to have in this here rubber-cement jar, a relic… that’s right… this is one of his toenail clippings… Wait! NO!!! Rufus, you ate it!”

2. GONDOLA_Looking For June: (As written by Gary Higgins) A harrowing tale, frought with heartache, the pangs and pains of hunger and thirst, and a chronic wheeze from a layer of black mould that comes back, just because it can.

3. COBRA & THE DINOSAUR_Owen Ave Stomp: Packs the stadium-scale beats, rockin’ the block so hard that the cops bring out the orange and white sawhorses and pack a cooler of Italian ices for the kids.

4. KOHOUTEK_Stone Battery: “Please, rock deciders, consider this application to the Tom Tom Club. Although the submission is about 35 years late, friends and lovers agree, their headbands smell vaguely familiar, bringing back essences of Gramma’s melted ice cubes in flowery tumblers and oodles of noodles in Styrofoam bowls, room temperature and below. The tablature is notated on nicotine-yellowed + faded Wild West Conestoga Wagon themed wallpaper.”

5. TOTAL SYSTEM FAILURE_A Day in the Life of a Failure: “How does it all end? Sit closer, ear to the speaker, turn the dial to zero, then slowly increase the volume. Pete Seeger threw his axe again, my friends! I remember the Sixties… marmalade and punch, Dale Chihuly’s curly locks flowing into the fire pit. But it was like bugs squealing.”

END OF TAPE

Flunk th'Gunk

DeeEyeAcheDee


--Adam Padavano

V/A “Some Gunk, Some Junk” C-43 (DIHD)

Th’fine folks at Definitely Intentional Hearing Damage (dihd) have done it again. Eleven artists/bands come together in a seamless sound collection adhered together with mayonnaise and gauze.

Justin Mank, provider of the cover art, begins with a fist pumper, Swamp Water, the appropriate earthy entry point to such a heady endeavor. Midway through side a, Honey Radar’s She Became the Champion turns out a radio hit. Somewhere between Cobra Dan & th’Easy Money and Quit, someone hit the emergency brake on the interstate, and my leg fell asleep. There’s a fifteen-mile long yard sale in Hunterdon County, NJ tied together with coaxial cables and bungee cords.

T Penn’s Human Adult Band features on side b its trademark blueberry embalming fluid on stale cracker sealed with postage stamps. All that’s missing with this one is a loop cartoon reel of red wigglers dancing the hot hot hot circle wedding reception dance.

Here are some notes as listed on Dsscoggz: Volumn 2 of the Gunk Tape Compilation Series. Limited to 100 copies, mostly distributed to the bands. Slime green cassette shell.

May you come across this one in your travels.

dihd


--Adam Padavano