V/A “Flunked Gunk” (DiHD)

Flunked Gunk: An Odyssey

Side A

1. SUICIDE MAGNETS_Shiloh: “You soothsayer! Makin’ me do weird things, like fill toothpaste tubes with caulk, you houndstoothed heartbreaker… do that again please?”

2. ULTRABUNNY_BAG bag/Dark Meets Drumstick: The UB drops a two-fer, some greasy, grizzle-smokey, Kraut-ragna-rokery, bumming out yer neighbors’ ghosts enough to turn on a Three’s Company marathon>>>OR<<<Is it their answer to Scarlet>Fire?

Q: Could it be Drums>Space?
A: Sorry, nerds, too obvious.
Dark meets drumsticks: Probably not poultry, likely a Good Humor ice cream cone melting on your mom’s lipstick.

3. SCMB_Corsa: “How’d they fit Ginger Baker’s butt into that primitive submarine? And when will they remember to unplug appliances before a catastrophic flood?”

No guitars, really, just a harmonica with one working hole, stuck to a beard trimmer, the track is brimming with burped up bubbles

4. LATHER_A Scale Upon Ourobouros: A plaintive, studious, punctual, constitutional, as polite as a reptile gets when it’s been caged up in a Good Housekeeping Magazine-centerfold-faux-Amazon Forest-common room, drinking green tap-water, and chasing re-animated zombie-crickets.

Side B

1. HUMAN ADULT BAND_I Don't Know Why (But I've Been Here for Years): “Okay! Gather ‘round, kids! Liss’n up and liss’n good… It’s yr Third Uncle, and, sweet Lazarus! do I have a tall tale t’ tell. It all starts when Methuselah’s great grand pappy Grejoirius somersaulted over the Great Pebbled Bridge of Bayonne. No small feat for one with a double-case of gaut, and a deep-fried hamstring. That’s what he had for breakfast. Do you follow? Well look closely, cuz I happen to have in this here rubber-cement jar, a relic… that’s right… this is one of his toenail clippings… Wait! NO!!! Rufus, you ate it!”

2. GONDOLA_Looking For June: (As written by Gary Higgins) A harrowing tale, frought with heartache, the pangs and pains of hunger and thirst, and a chronic wheeze from a layer of black mould that comes back, just because it can.

3. COBRA & THE DINOSAUR_Owen Ave Stomp: Packs the stadium-scale beats, rockin’ the block so hard that the cops bring out the orange and white sawhorses and pack a cooler of Italian ices for the kids.

4. KOHOUTEK_Stone Battery: “Please, rock deciders, consider this application to the Tom Tom Club. Although the submission is about 35 years late, friends and lovers agree, their headbands smell vaguely familiar, bringing back essences of Gramma’s melted ice cubes in flowery tumblers and oodles of noodles in Styrofoam bowls, room temperature and below. The tablature is notated on nicotine-yellowed + faded Wild West Conestoga Wagon themed wallpaper.”

5. TOTAL SYSTEM FAILURE_A Day in the Life of a Failure: “How does it all end? Sit closer, ear to the speaker, turn the dial to zero, then slowly increase the volume. Pete Seeger threw his axe again, my friends! I remember the Sixties… marmalade and punch, Dale Chihuly’s curly locks flowing into the fire pit. But it was like bugs squealing.”