“Join the fun” is what the memo said. Exact start and end times, rules and regulations, to follow. The sooner you follow procedure, the sooner we’ll get on with it. They’ll all reveal themselves in time. Sonic generators won’t prevent that. And, if the language seems a little…off (ESEM JSCA ISER FASE DHF CTATIS), don’t sweat it. We’ll get through another way. The main agenda is to get a feel for the procedure. This can be done one of two ways…
“Hands-on” would be my recommendation. The instrument is already in motion. You’ve skipped rope before, right? It’s all about timing. They don’t call them teeth for nothing. Get past them, and a few other devious devices, and you’re in the driver’s seat.
You’ll soon discover you won’t have much to do behind the wheel. But remember, first you must get there. And the instrument will rip you to shreds if you don’t land…just….right. I don’t mean to suggest there aren’t other ways the instrument will rip you to shreds once you’ve arrived, but I do mean to suggest that getting in is considered to be by many the most challenging part.
Strapped in, you’re pitched a series of questions. Answer as you see fit, but beware, there are very few correct responses. Be prepared for the consequences. Severe punishment is the only way to reform the tradition of bad behavior.
(example)
Q: Did you install the orange lights?
A: Yes, we installed the orange lights. We didn’t pull it off quite the way we intended it. We screwed ‘em in late last night. It is considered proper etiquette to do a test run when no one, in particular, is looking. That being said, working in plain view, in the public sector, one cannot expect total privacy. There’s always a light sleeper stirring in bed, an insomniac walking the floor. The mouse peeks out of its peephole. There’s nothing you can do about it. So don’t even try.
…is one possible answer you might give. see appendix A for more.
-- Rick Weaver
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