"Ocean Maniacs EP” C20
(Gutter Loon Records)

This album is… unique, to say the least…

From the moment I listened to the title track I knew: this was going to be perhaps the strangest tape I’ll ever listen to. This album is definitely not for me. Most of the songs on this tape regard intercourse and everything that comes of having it, from STD’s to dangerous fetishes. The male vocals are raw and the sound quality is very poor, and the songs themselves (when judged from a ‘punk music' standard) are mostly mediocre at best. Each track is a little ditty that concerns a different aspect or problem involved with coitus. Here is a song-by-song analysis of each track:

Dick Cutter (1969): A repetitive annoying song about a vagina riddled with razor-blades. Need I say more? [2/10]

Herpes Monster: The subject of this song lies in its name. It’s not too bad, actually. It’s marginally catchy. [6/10]

Over The Edge: A short tune that’s nice to sing along to for the minute it lasts and expresses an adroit use of chords. [7/10]

Pussy Burner: Firstly, the male vocalist has no talent whatsoever. At least not on this track. His singing barely qualifies as “melodious speaking”. The chords don’t match the pitch of the singing. It’s repetitive and the lyrics are enough to make any good Christian squirm in discomfort. [2/10] because I’m sure something worse than this exists out in the world, something bad enough to qualify as a 1/10.

Monte Carlo Eagle: The vocals are awful and scratchy and probably have a bitrate of 2 kbps. It was difficult to understand anything and the instrumental could be put to better use, preferably with a better band.

Werewolf Ambulance: The more talented female vocalist is back, with a much catchier song. As long as you ignore the disturbing lyrics, I’m sure you will find yourself humming along to this tune. [7/10]

Ocean Maniacs: The lyrics are (gasp!) *not* extremely discomforting this time. The song itself is softer and much easier to listen to. [6/10]

Stars Hollow Maniac (Live at Seaworld): How they let this disgusting talentless singer play live anywhere blows my mind. Terrible track. Terrible singer. [3/10]

Then We Kiss (Live at Seaworld): Catchy! Very catchy! My favorite track on the tape. With some refinement (and the complete lesion of that horrendous tumor that is male vocalist) I feel like this song could be a hit in the punk genre! [8/10]

My main complaint is the appalling male singer. Most of the tracks he is featured on are terrible, terrible songs. The innuendo in this album pesters me as well, but for the most part I see some potential.

I rate this album in its entirety a 5/10.


-- Mansoor Syed