HANZ BRONZE "S/t” and “Exploding Hanz" (Dubz, yo)

It hath been ‘bout exactly three years since I received Hanz Bronze’s eponymous debut full length (via Range Life Records) and, upon getting these lo-fi recordings/mixtapes, I am inspired to share in the revelry with these blogposts, copied from HB’s own website >> writings >>:

“Blog 3 /.
The third of July traffic was too much so I turned off highway 101 and drove home to get my bike . Armed with a couple fruit flavored Tums I rode downtown and paid rent - I bought some time . The people thought I was a cliche ' and then I drove a motorcycle flaming into the hospital - freeing everyone - even Burt Reynolds looked to me for guidance on chicks - as the crowd gathered and the sky grew overcast I felt paranoid - like the jerk at the post office that judged me for sending tapes to Indiana - I adjusted my book shelf and fixed my phono - I lamented that I'd never learned tennis - I got so bitter that I even started to love myself - I got so loving all the owls of America moved to my barrio. That's right assholes : hoo hoo ! Hoo hoo!!!
- Hanz Bronze

Blog 2 /.
I can't stop eating veggie burgers everyday - sometimes a black bean burger with Swiss cheese and avocado smeared lettuce onion tomato pickle mayonnaise mustard - you know what ? It's better than me eating cheeseburgers everyday although who knows mayb I am . Sometimes when I'm really feeling free I ' ll get a salad with blue cheese dressing instead of fries chips or tots. I'm the real tot . I ll never grow old I'm Peter Pan come to raise Peter Pan hell . I'm Peter Pan come to raise young god hell ! I don't get these jerks who can't wish a young god well.
- Hanz Bronze

Blog 1 /.
It was a happy moment in my life. I simply had never felt more content . The mountains of northern coastal oregon draped me in a sadness I had never known before , the preposterous level of gnarlacity of the waves I was too afraid to know . Maybe it was my fear of sharks , o , but that's silly. I wished there were more honky tonks but then I made the world my honky tonk and God was my dj . Or was it Jesus? Well I like him better than God anyway . I rambled around the south spray painting God is gay all over the little churches. I regretted it but I revelled in being a wildman. Life was never better yet I needed a woman o what a fascist I became . At least a happy fascist . I went to movies alone and I never wanked it. safeway became a sanctuary , my place to get produce , since I was too anti social to hit the farmer's market which didn't exist anyway . I asked out the cute red headed housekeeper at the hotel because I figured she could only say no. She said yes. She did say yes to a glass of wine after work and now I'm married and yes, my life has simply never been finer. Now God is my butler, that old freak.
- hanz bronze *”

As one might surmise from the aforementioned evidence, this chap is the Charles Bukowski of Frank Blacks. (You have been warned.) With a full band, he sings recklessly, commanding a powerful falsetto for precise accentation; yet, solo, his vocals tread a baritone, tight line between Lou Reed’s and (a much, much lower) Syd Barrett’s disregard for establishment harmony. Funk As Puck? Mebbe…


-- Jacob An Kittenplanq888