“The White Album”
(Crash Symbols)

My colleague at Tabs Out, Scott Scholz, was quoted as saying about I am just a pupil that it’s “freaking my shit right out.” And look, Scott’s OK – he’s a little demented, but we let that slide. And actually, he’s not even that crazy when it comes to “The White Album,” as I’m having an equally hard time figuring out where the hell I even am while I’m listening to this. I am so jolted out of any sort of normality that it feels like I’m fighting an intense uphill battle to even get my footing. Solid ground eludes me. So I slip and I slide down the endless stream of samples and plunderphonics, an endless and frictionless transparent tube through a madhouse of other people’s opinions. It’s freaking my shit right out.

Oh! Scott was right! He was so right!

But this freakout is a wake-up call, a magic whistle to the dome where you’re transported to other people’s lives and are allowed to peek in through the drawn shades. But still, NOTHING IS AS IT SEEMS, whether it’s the political weirdness of Bush accusing Gorbechev of aggression against the automobile on “Patriot” or the platitudes of a prospective lover to her beau on “ASMR,” with promises of removing duct tape. I’ve found myself laughing out loud through the gritted teeth that I’m grinding to bloody nerve stumps as I’m tied to a chair MK Ultra style with my eyes pried open as I’m listening to “The White Album,” and it’s a virtual certainty that I’m undergoing some severe psychological upheaval. But probably subliminally!

I’m laughing a lot, but there’s a lot of icky stuff to get through here too. Still, it’s all pretty hilarious – I’m absolutely gonna have to come back to this and try to parse out my feelings. I have an inkling that I’m going to discover things about myself that are better left buried under the surface. Like – “Black Ops”? Scary. But “Hillary” is just too funny, with its cherry-picked quotes slathered against a backdrop of generic R&B for maximum madness. Oh, who’s to say what the proper response is, or if there even is a “proper” one. “The White Album” is endlessly relistenable, and you’ll be able to find kernels of truth among the absolute outrageousness of the project. It’s one of the best things I’ve listened to in a while.

One last question: why does Obama sound like Norm MacDonald on “Obama”? Really, that one’s nagging at me.

Still – hilarious. 

Crash Symbols