MANKID “Mankid 1” (self-released)

It’s every kid’s dream to be a superhero, and it’s not hard to imagine a six-year-old running around his house in his Underoos, blanket fastened around his neck like a cape, paper Burger King crown on his head, saving the day many times over in many different ways. In fact, when I first read the name “Mankid,” handwritten on the spine of the j-card of this tape in marker, big red “1” emblazoned next to it like a magic comic book issue number, I figured the inside of it would feature a few panels of action, or that the music would at least be appropriately heroic in nature. I was pretty much wrong on all counts. There isn’t anything on the inside of the j-card (fine), nor is the music fit for swelling against the latest Marvel Universe installment (also fine). Instead, I was treated to the equivalent of a blast furnace opening in my face. Neat! Read on to find out how singed my eyebrows got.

The Mankid is not a superhero, but a dude. This dude is simply trying “to figure out how to get out of bed every morning.” Just like Batman! And how can he not be all battered and bruised like the Caped Crusader after an all-night villain-bashing bender? “Harmonious feedback” collides with “blast beats” in this Lightning Bolt-esque adventure, and if this is what gets Mankid out of bed in the morning, so be it, even if he’s worse the wear, physically and mentally, from creating it. He’s truly a hero to people like me, who eat this stuff up for breakfast and beg for more before the last spoonful is shoveled into my mouth. Or, er, my ears. Because I’m listening to this. Damn metaphors, you’ve foiled me for the last time!

Regardless, Mankid 1 is hopefully merely the first entry into a grand narrative of sonic ass-kickery. It would be a shame if his arch-nemesis, The Cat with the Thing on Its Head, came after him in all his Underoo’d glory and stopped him before he even got started. But there I go mixing up my storylines again – let’s just hope Mankid is here to stay.

--Ryan Masteller