CAR PHYTE “Decade Lost” (Brain Plan Records)

I was really excited to listen to an artist called “Car Phyte,” because what’s better than the epic battles between robotic vehicles than those brought to glorious life on the big screen by Michael Bay? I’m talking about Transformers, of course! And it doesn’t matter which of the series is your favorite, because they all have that one key element: total combat. And sometimes on the moon! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve popped in a Transformers DVD and just let it overtake all of my senses. The colors, the clashes, the sounds, the excitement! It’s just the greatest thing I can even think of right now. It’s almost impossible to think of anything else.

And then I realized that “Car Phyte” was actually just a homonym for “car fight,” and I admitted to myself that I was just trying to pad my word count by bullshitting about Transformers. That’s an impressive 118 positive words on Michael Bay and the Transformers franchise. Have there been that many positive words written on the series in general? I’m not sure about that. I’ll have to look it up.

Car Phyte’s Decade Lost, then, is similar to Transformers in that it’s the “final installment in [a] trilogy,” and Transformers has at least three movies, I think. It’s experimental bedroom noise/punk/scree/lofi/alt/beatbox with some actual rap lyrics somewhere in there. Does that sound good to you? You should check it out then. It is definitely not my bag. But it might be somebody’s.

--Ryan Masteller