“The Corner Office" C38

Max Zuckerman illustrates sparkled, opulent muzak-cartoons of characters expressing “the quiet parts…[sung] out loud”,…& they are, by far, the douchiest grotesques one could possibly imagine walking our scenic boardwalks. 

Imagine the hubris, gaudiness, & libido of Bukowski & Kanye melted together, haughtily toe-tapping on the lift floor of some freak maritime vessel involving a submarine with a mirror-ball lit, translucent elevator shaft rising slowly through the heart of a gilded cruise ship & further skyward, to the top floor of a neon-coated lighthouse, one of three atop said vessel. Over the top much? Yes, but accurate.

MZ’s “The Corner Office” is half a dozen long-form tracks of cocaine-itself-snorting-Tom-Selleck’s-thrice-signed-Miam-Vice-button-ups that have been soaked in pastel smooth-jazz, elevator tone, yacht musk/mildew, and blindingly white, white, white wine. So obnoxious, you might not be able to stop listening, once company finally arrives. Beware, but do not be ashamed. GALTTA sure as shit isn’t.

—Jacob An Kittenplan