“family vacation”
(Illuminated Paths)

Slide into the comfort of vaporwave. It fits over your earholes like a forbidden glove made especially for ears, lovingly caressing their canals and stroking their drums. Illuminated Paths is the suave purveyor of the luscious vaporwave, meaningful glances firing in your direction from just over the top of tilted-down shades, even though it’s night time and you’re in a dimly lit club and Illuminated Paths isn’t really a person but an enterprise, personified here for effect and also just for funsies. Today Illuminated Paths is as charming as Chris Sarandon in FRIGHT NIGHT, luring you in with the promise of romance and adventure, and delivering with COLA可樂巫術NECROMANCY. I don’t know why this is called FAMILY VACATION – it comes off as waaay too adult for the kiddos, but hey, who’s arguing? Not me, I’m fully stoked, and I’ve got some of the most erotic liqueurs and some candles and stuff like that, ready for an evening of sweet, glorious, processed smooth-jazz sax and warped adult contempo slow jamz. I might even break out the bubble bath.

Illuminated Paths

--Ryan Masteller